The Quiet Power of Kindness: How EAs Build Influence Through How They Make People Feel

February 9, 2026

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

As an Executive Assistant, your influence doesn't come from being the loudest voice in the room or the most assertive presence in a meeting. It comes from something quieter, more enduring, and far more powerful: how you make people feel.

When you consistently show up with both kindness and professionalism - when you're warm without being soft, clear without being harsh, supportive without being passive - you create something rare in organisational life. You create trust. And trust is the foundation of lasting influence.

Here's how to build that influence through the way you show up every day.

1. Kindness Doesn't Mean Saying Yes to Everything

There's a misconception that being kind means being accommodating at all costs. It doesn't.

True kindness is about caring for people's wellbeing - including your own. It's about setting boundaries that protect your capacity to do excellent work. It's about saying no when saying yes would compromise quality, timing, or your ability to deliver on other commitments.

The most respected EAs are kind and clear. They don't apologise for protecting their executive's time or their own. They don't soften every boundary with excessive explanation. They simply state what's possible and what isn't, with warmth and without defensiveness.

What this looks like: When someone asks for something that doesn't align with your executive's priorities, you don't say, "I'm so sorry, but I just don't think we can fit this in right now, maybe next week?" You say, "That won't work this week. Let's look at next week and find a time that works." You're kind. You're clear. You're professional.

2. Small Gestures Create Lasting Impressions

People remember how you made them feel in the small, unguarded moments - not just the high-stakes meetings or critical projects.

Did you greet them by name? Did you remember they were travelling and ask how the trip went? Did you notice they seemed overwhelmed and offer to help without being asked? Did you make them feel seen, valued, and respected, even when you were busy?

These moments don't make headlines, but they build your reputation. Over time, people come to see you as someone who cares - not just about getting things done, but about the people doing them.

What this looks like: You're preparing for a board meeting and notice a colleague struggling with the presentation setup. You have five minutes before the meeting starts. You stop what you're doing, help them troubleshoot, and get them sorted. They don't forget that. And the next time you need something from their department, they remember how you made them feel.

3. Professionalism Is Kindness in Action

Being professional doesn't mean being cold or distant. It means being reliable, clear, and respectful in how you work with others.

When you respond promptly, follow through on commitments, communicate with clarity, and treat everyone - regardless of their title - with the same level of respect, you're demonstrating kindness through your actions. You're showing people that their time matters, their work matters, and they matter.

This consistency builds trust. And when people trust you, they listen to you. They seek your perspective. They value your input. That's influence.

What this looks like: You receive an email from a junior team member asking for help with something outside your direct responsibilities. You could ignore it or send a brief "not my area" response. Instead, you reply within an hour: "I'm not the right person for this, but Sarah in Operations can help. I've copied her here and given her context. She'll take good care of you." You've been professional, helpful, and kind - and both people remember it.

4. Calm Under Pressure Is a Gift to Others

When things go wrong—and they will—how you respond sets the tone for everyone around you.

If you panic, others panic. If you're sharp or dismissive, people become defensive. But if you stay calm, clear, and solution-focused, you create space for others to think clearly and act effectively.

This doesn't mean suppressing your emotions or pretending everything is fine when it isn't. It means choosing to respond rather than react. It means being the steady presence that helps others find their footing when the ground feels uncertain.

What this looks like: Your executive's flight is delayed, and they're going to miss the first hour of a critical meeting. Instead of spiraling, you calmly assess the situation: Who can cover the opening? What materials need to be ready? Who needs to be notified? You handle it with composure, and everyone involved feels reassured rather than anxious. That calm becomes part of your reputation.

5. Kindness Includes Honest Feedback

Being kind doesn't mean withholding difficult truths. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is tell someone what they need to hear, even when it's uncomfortable.

If a colleague is about to make a mistake, if a process isn't working, if a decision will create problems down the line - speaking up is an act of care. The key is how you deliver that message: with respect, clarity, and a genuine desire to help, not to criticise.

People respect leaders who tell them the truth. And when you deliver hard messages with kindness, people don't just hear you - they trust you.

What this looks like: A colleague is preparing a proposal that misses a critical piece of information. Instead of staying silent or pointing it out in front of others, you pull them aside: "I think this is really strong, but I noticed we're missing the budget breakdown. That's going to be the first question they ask. Do you want to add it before the meeting?" You've been honest, helpful, and kind.

6. You Protect People's Dignity

In every interaction, you have a choice: to make someone feel smaller or to help them feel capable.

The best EAs choose the latter. They don't embarrass people in meetings. They don't point out mistakes publicly. They don't make others feel foolish for not knowing something. Instead, they create environments where people feel safe to ask questions, admit uncertainty, and learn.

This doesn't mean lowering standards or accepting poor work. It means addressing issues in ways that preserve dignity and focus on solutions rather than blame.

What this looks like: In a meeting, someone asks a question that was already answered in the pre-read. Instead of saying, "That was in the document," you say, "Good question. The short answer is [X]. It's also in the pre-read if you want more detail later." You've answered the question, gently reminded them of the resource, and protected their dignity.

7. Consistency Builds Trust

Kindness isn't a one-time gesture. It's a way of showing up, day after day, regardless of how busy you are or how stressed you feel.

When people know they can count on you to be warm, professional, and reliable - not just when it's convenient, but consistently - they trust you. And that trust translates into influence.

You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be consistent in your intent to treat people well.

What this looks like: You're having a difficult day. You're behind on deadlines, your inbox is overflowing, and you're exhausted. A colleague stops by your desk with a question. You could be short with them. Instead, you take a breath, look up, and give them your full attention for two minutes. They leave feeling helped, not dismissed. And you've reinforced the reputation you've been building all along.

The Truth About Influence

Influence isn't about power. It's about trust.

And trust is built in the small moments - the way you greet someone, the care you take in your communication, the respect you show regardless of title, the calm you bring to chaos, the honesty you offer with kindness.

People will forget the emails you sent. They'll forget the meetings you scheduled. But they will never forget how you made them feel.

When you show up with both kindness and professionalism - when you're clear without being harsh, supportive without being passive, honest without being unkind - you don't need to ask for influence.

It's given to you.

RiseA is specialised coaching for Executive Assistants ready to move from reactive support to strategic partnership.

Launching March 2026 with only 10 spots available.

Learn more: www.riseaonline.com

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